3/3 Thirty-Three

My mother has two daughters, I being the older of the two.  My sister was born 11/11 and I, 3/3.  I always thought that was cool.  This year I turned 33... I can remember a time when I thought that was sooooooo old, like a month ago... Lol ( I really did laugh out loud for the record).  In my last post  I said that aging didn't bother me but you never really know until it happens but I must say it didn't bother me one bit.  Thanks to Facebook I have 300 friends that took 45 seconds out of their day to wish me a happy birthday.  I really do appreciate the time and the thought but on the flip side you will rarely see me post a Happy Birthday on Facebook mostly because if I care enough to say it I will write you personally even if it is just a text, a quick call or heaven forbid a card in the mail!  I am a little old fashion when it comes to such things.  My mother raised me to send hand written thank you cards for even the simplest acts of kindness and I am thankful she did.  My mom to this day will still send me a card in the mail just to say, "I love you" or "thinking of you" and I in turn do that for my friends and family; although, not nearly as often as I use to, just out of pure exhaustion!  There is something special about receiving a nice note in the mail so I really try and do it for others.  I only have a handful of friends that feel the same but I will always be an advocate for snail mail and will enforce the tradition on my children.  Appreciation is a big deal to me and always will be.  I really did have so many wonderful friends and family members remember me on the anniversary of my first breath.  I like the sound of that better than "happy birthday".  One of my medic buddies wished me a "happy first breath" and it stuck with me, I am going to steal and use the phrase, so thanks Sadie!  This birthday was much like every other one in the fact I was working which I didn't mind one bit.  In fact because I was at work I got a few extra special treats like a hallway dance from my RT buddy Evelyn and a cake pop and coffee from Christine.  Everyone popped there heads into my rooms as they brought patients in and out of the ER and even patients were wishing me a happy day, so all in all it was just wonderful.  One of my dearest friends Karen dropped off a lovely tray of homemade cupcakes and a nice bottle of wine, she knows me oh too well!

On Tuesday night my school buddy Vanessa brought me a yummy cake that said, "Jazz Hands!" Vanessa and I are in the same BSN program but really we just hit it off, she is one of those people you meet and know that you will always stay in touch even when you don't have too.  She had text me Happy Birthday at 1140 the night before but I told her I had 20 minutes left of being 32.  She then explained to me that turning 33 wasn't going to be some great moment when I'd break in to song or dance with "jazz hands"- she was right... She makes me laugh... I could go on and on about all of the sweet things people said or did for me but I have bragged enough... Ok maybe a little more bragging on my hubby.  Josh and I really don't buy each other gifts often because we tend to put everything into our kids, like most parents but this year he gave me a couple of wonderful gifts, in fact the best gifts ever!  I have a huge love of the theatre and in another life I am certain I was a Broadway star but due to our busy lives I don't get the chance to enjoy the theatre nearly as much as I'd like, like ever.  My love for the fine arts is so great but I really don't have anyone to share it with,  Josh has taken me to see Phantom of the Opera and I made him watch Les Mis (since Gianna Cozette was named after it) and he did enjoy it but it's not a priority for him, so my only hope is that one of my kids will love it and then it could be "our" thing.  Mix this desire with the complaining I have been doing that I need not want but NEED more time with my big kids, Josh out did himself.  Josh bought me tickets to see Wicked in April, which I have seen before and loved but he also bought two extra tickets so I can take Ty and Paris in hopes it will spark their love for the arts.  I am so excited and really just hope at least one if not both will love it as much as I do.  

Gift #2 from Josh holds more meaning to me than he even realizes.  Last week Josh had an appointment at Stanford, this appointment happened to land on the day that would have been my grandparents anniversary.  I was bummed I couldn't go spend the day with my grandma because I know it's always a hard day for her.  My grandpa died when I was 17 but it still doesn't feel real.  To this day if I see a Granny Goose truck drive by ( a company he once worked for), I can't help but look in to see if it's him.  He was an amazing man but that's a post all it's own...Anyway, I decided to send her flowers as he always would do, just so she knew I was thinking of her.  As soon as she got the flowers she text me to thank me and we chatted back in forth for a few minutes. 

 As we text back in forth I felt such a strong emotion come over me as I thought of the amazing man my papa was and how much I miss him.  I could just imagine his face if he had met my little tribe or met my Josh.  He would have been so proud to see how I turned out or at least I think he would have.  He would have irritated the kids with his"canned food kisses" and the "pull my finger".  He would have loved Josh and would have bought him cowboy boots because in his mind everyone needs a good pair of boots.  He would have made fun of Josh and Ty for being Packer fans and he would have bought the girls anything their hearts desired whether or not he could afford it... 

I cried... A lot.... I couldn't stop as we drove that long drive home.  In the midst of all the memories I thought about the 4th grade.  I was ten and wanted a dog.  My grandpa took me to the pet shop (when there use to be real pet shops that sold pets) to "look" and I fell in love with a little fluffy dog with a $400 price tag.  After much deliberation my grandpa who was not a rich man by any means gave my parents no choice in the matter and bought me that dog.  Tasha, she was mine, all mine and I was in love.  That's just how he was.... I then fast forwarded to another dog I had, Chester.  Chester was a basset hound that my ex-husband had bought me very shortly before we divorced.  He was the cutest thing that I desperately wanted but I only had him about a week before we went to a family party where my ex was offered money for the dog and he sold him right from under me.... See the difference there, my grandfather would have given me his last breath to make me happy whether it be time, affection or a puppy but my ex well, there's a reason people are "the ex."  He didn't care about me or my feelings, money was money and that was that.  

Thinking about the two accounts I had an overwhelming urge to go puppy shopping.... Josh said, "NO".... I can't blame him, why would anyone in our spot want to add a puppy to the mix, we already have so much going on but that didn't change the fact I really, really wanted a puppy of my own.  I mean I'd let the kids play with it but in this hectic life that I give so much of myself to, I wanted something that was mine.... Josh didn't really get that, he may still not because he doesn't know the papa story or the feelings that brings back to me and that's ok, I didn't need Josh to buy me a puppy to make me happy because he makes me happy and he loves me every bit as good as my grandpa loved me.  Josh loves me just like my grandpa loved my grandma, like my dad loves my mom and I don't need a puppy to see that.

Two days later Josh drove over four hours to find me exactly what I'd ask for even though the last thing he wanted was a new puppy.... Meet Norman the Basset Hound

My papa would have loved Norman and would have loved Josh more for loving me so well

My husband did something amazing for me and didn't even realize how amazing it is...

Meet Josh, the best husband in the world, the love of my life and pretty darn sexy.  This was also taken last week right before Josh's annual SWAT dinner.  I had surprised Josh with a room in Fresno so we could get a cab and both be able to enjoy ourselves, have a few drinks and not have to rush back to the kiddos- this was a much needed and first night away from the twins, break.

What a wonderful birthday week I have had, the only thing missing was my Ty who left for 6th grade camp.  My sweet boy taking after the rest of the men in my life was so concerned he was leaving on my actual birthday, he tried to convince me to keep him home instead of going.  He only went willingly after I assured him we would celebrate when he got home.

Thank goodness he comes home tomorrow, I miss my little buddy!

Well, that's my 33rd anniversary of my first breath story and I think it has been the best one of all.  I am in love with a wonderful guy who drives me insane most days.  I am in love with five precious and amazingly exhausting children.  I am loved by so many wonderful people in this world and I have a new puppy, who could ask for anything more..... 

Love~

me 

(the crazy lady who always manages to willingly and happily add more to her plate)