Fixin' the Melon

Miss. Charlotte at one of our many doctor appointments the last few weeks

So the last few weeks would be classified in the "or worse" category of marital vows. This time has been surrounded by stress, appointments, illness-boooo! The majority of my thoughts seem to be centered around Penny. Penelope is Twin B. She weighed in at 4lbs 6oz but was the stronger of the twins from the start. She was released from the NICU three days before her chunky counterpart. Penny is inquisitive, active, happy and amazed by her surrounding world. I would say that in many ways Penny is the easier of the two but she breaks my heart in worry more than any other child ever has. It all started with Penny's bum kidney that will require surgery in July ( that will require a blog of its own as well). As if having a kidney issue isn't enough to worry she also has Plagiocephaly and Torticallis. Both of these terms are fancy for mis-shappen head and muscle weakness in the neck. Basically I am 5'4" and mostly legs- so two growing babies had to fight for room and Penny lost. Charlie was head down most of the pregnancy but Penny Penny was jammed under my diaphragm for months, the pressure of this on her head caused it to be odd in shape and that in turn caused her to hold her head to one side weakening the muscles. Originally our pediatrician said it would all fix itself with time as she grew but at 7 months we saw little improvement and were finally sent to a Neurosurgeon. When we met with Neurosurgeon and Plastic surgeon they were both in agreement it would fix itself to a degree but we would have a better result with the use of an orthotic aka helmet.

Josh and I had a tough decision to make. When a child wears a helmet for Plagiocephaly its between 5-8 months, 23 hours a day... Did we really want to put her through that for vanity? Josh was on board from the beginning but I was hesitant. I have lots of reasons for not wanting my baby in a hard, hot helmet 23 hours a day like her comfort for one. I couldn't care less of the questions and looks it may get but I hated thinking of her being uncomfortable but even more I was selfish... I was selfish in the fact that I didn't want to loose a single kiss or the sweet smell of her lop sided little head! Ultimately Josh made a good point that she may be angry with us later if we didn't do everything we could to give her the best result and he was right... If she was a Singleton I don't think I would do it but knowing that she will be compared to her identical twin sister everyday of her life- I just couldn't let her identifier be her odd shaped head. After deciding to go through with it -the process began. 

Time to get the helmet made...

The technician ran a wire up through her shirt and placed a stocking on her head

The wire fed through the top and attached to a sensor

Penny didn't seem to mind at all

Another helper sat across from Penny with a toy to keep her attention and played The Beach Boys so the sound of the laser wouldn't scare her

It was actually pretty cool-

He scanned her from all different angles and the 3-D image popped up on his computer

Penny lost interest--- I told him to play the Beetles because my Penny Layne loves her song!

A week later we went back for the fitting....

Penny was obviously excited.

After putting it on, shaving it down, putting it on, shaving it down- she was done

She didn't seem to mind but my heart broke a little looking down at this face...

My kids aren't perfect by any means but to see it so evident and to know it causes discomfort just....hurts....

Penny has actually done remarkably well wearing it and has fussed very little although its harder to put her to sleep. During the one hour it can be off she gets her bath and lots of cuddles! I try to stretch the hour and get a bunch in like tummy time and playing with toys without the helmet. She plays just fine with it but it makes me happy to see her play without it. I have to admit I kiss her head a dozen times at least while its off and then we put it back on....

I decided if my baby has to wear an ugly, plastic helmet we're gonna fix it up- so I did!

I'm still going to Velcro a bow to the front I think

Charlie couldn't care less about Penny's helmet

Yup that's a watermelon and seeds decal

If you can't laugh at yourself life will be miserable...

If we're gonna have this thing as part of our life the next few months it has to try and be as cute as it's owner...

At the end of the day we're just trying to make the best decisions for our kids even when its inconvenient to all. We can't make life choices based on convenience because you will never know the joy that hard work can bring. Anything worth having is worth fighting, working and waiting for. Everyday I make it a choice not to go for the instant gratification although I fail miserably when it comes to cupcakes but I'm only human- we all are, so all we can really do is try...

and then try again and again...

Much love to all

Let it grow...

Some days I look around the house and think, "I accomplished absolutely nothing today!" and some weeks I look back and think, "How is it already over? Did I even shower and when was the last time I flossed?!". That's just the way it is when you have five, count em five children and one large child in the form of a husband who needs me to help make important decisions like, "Babe, the babies haven't eaten in hours and are crying, should I feed them?"....~sigh~ "Yes- yes you should feed them".....
All joking aside life really is just flying by and even on the days I think I have accomplished nothing I actually had cleaned the house, did laundry, cooked, baked, grocery shopped, paid bills, had the cars serviced, cleaned the house, did laundry, cooked, cleaned, laundry, cooked, laundry, worked, laundry, cooked, laundry, worked, laundry, laundry oh and took care of five kids and one husbands every need...somehow I still have squeezed in sewing and some photography..People ask how I make time for the hobbies... Seriously? Without them I may go insane, that is if I haven't already...
The past week was one where I feel like I did accomplish a lot and was quite proud. We had family pictures and I somehow managed to sew all four girls outfits in 48hrs....It was fun... The pictures turned out great and I will post them soon. I managed to make an awesome snugly blanket for a wedding present and even made it to the wedding before the gorgeous bride walked down the isle. I'd post pictures of us at the wedding but I feel I've "grown" more than I'd like to and rather not remember it in pictures.
We spent last week taking Penny to specialist to decide the best course of treatment for her Plagiocephaly and Torticallis- this topic will have to be a whole post by itself next week because I just am not ready to discuss it...I'm still figuring out how exactly I feel about it...
Thank goodness Gianna has grown a bit and is maturing.. We have had about three weeks of attitude, arguments, crying and melt downs... She snapped out of it before I totally lost my mind and turned back into my sweet girl by Saturday. I sooooo enjoyed her Saturday. She was loving and kind. She held hands and told me she wanted to be just like me and it simply made my day! Ty had a rough week too... I think this pre-teen state is already taking over not to mention he is so sick of his cast! He had been extremely grumpy and I had just about had it when he read one of the Percy Jackson books and fell in love. I love that my kids love to read and get so excited when they find something that sparks their interest. Ty has fallen for mythology.... I personally have zero interest- even in high school I hated having to ready about Greek Gods but Ty LOVES it. So now he has ready about 1300 pages in about a week reading the series, in fact the other day not being able to read was his punishment for some offense I can't remember... Glad to have my Ty back... Paris was scarce this week. She is now at the age where she has friends, parties and sleep overs. I love that she has made friends but I gotta say this gives me a glimpse to the future and I realize in no time the kids will have their own lives, plans and worlds. Each day that passes I am less and less the center of their world- I am edged out by school, friends, activities... I know my kids love me and are doing exactly what they need to be doing but it hurts to see it happen and at the exact same time makes me so proud. I have to let them grow....I don't want to....
Charlie and Penny are seven months this week! Talk about growing! My babies are crazy big and so very happy.

Miss. Penny

The girls are rolling, scooting, sitting-up and saying dada

In pictures they still look different to me but in person the similarity is really starting to show through

Miss. Charlie

Charlie is doing everything Penny is and will finally stand. She refused to bare any weight on her legs for months. For a while I thought her legs just couldn't support her chunkiness but looks like they can...

Can you tell who is who? I had to actually look back at the order of pics to know which baby was which...

Let em grow....

So another big thing I accomplished this week was starting my garden. This is something I have really wanted to do for quite some time. We don't own our home so I didn't want to start one because I know we will be buying a home in the next year or so, so I'd figure I would just wait till then... STUPID! Time is flying by, my kids are growing way to fast and I am getting older everyday so why would I wait to do anything?

I decided I would do a potted garden that could be moved with us. I really want the kids to have a project like this. I want them to see the little miracles that will pop up and then eat the fruits of their labor...

The big kids weren't home so Gianna and I got it started.

Gigi dressed herself this morning lol

Our garden is doing wonderful-nothing dead yet, fingers crossed

We have jalapeños-which we cook with all the time so they will come in handy!

We have beef stake tomatoes-I'm nervous about these because I hear they get very heavy so we will make a trip to Lowes this week to get some caging for support

We have basil from my friend Chan's garden. We transplanted it and so far its holding up.

Cilantro is one of my favorite herbs, especially for my Abondigas which is a fam fav

Chives

Mint is the perfect addition to our tea that we drink every single day and of course Mommy's Mojito's

Rosemary

If you look close you can see a Cherry tomato that appeared this morning-Gigi was so excited and she keeps picking away at the mint. She loves that she can just go out and eat a leaf~crazy girl.

Well kids- I hope you remember this time in our lives fondly and that someday you will plant a little garden with your kids and tell them about all the little pots of plants you once had and how special it was. I hope that although I am not always going to be such a big part of your life that you will always keep a special place for me in your hearts and know that although I am not the center of your world-you will always be the center of mine. 

I have decided to really try to not put myself down and say I didn't accomplish anything on any given day because the fact is I accomplished a great deal just by being here and letting my little garden of kiddos grow...

Let it grow friends, let it grow...

I'm a Nurse, of course I can prioritize!

I am a Registered Nurse and work in a very busy emergency room. If you asked me the most important part of being a nurse I wouldn't say being amazing at skills like IV's or catheter insertions- what I would say is prioritizing. I have to be able to assess a patient and not only figure out how serious it is but also what exactly will need to be done and how much time I have to do it. I can quickly figure out the 50 year old woman with nausea and back pain needs an EKG long before the guy crying that his shoulder is dislocated and needs pain meds. I can generally weed out the drug seeking individual over the gallstones and know that you can never have enough venous access in a code blue... This I'm good at- NO this I'm great at and take pride in it- I love my job... So considering that prioritizing is literally in my job description you can understand my surprise when my husband tells me I don't make him a priority, WHAT?

This is Josh and I nearly ten years ago, not long after we met... Back then I was a newly single mom working in a medical office and Starbucks just trying to make ends meet. I was trying to keep things good for Ty who was barely over a year. I was 22 but felt 40....stress.....

Josh was pretty carefree.. He was also 22- working for the Sheriff Dept and living it up as any young care free guy should do, that is until he met me. It took no time at all before I was head over heels in love and absolutely thrilled! I didn't know you could love someone like that so fast and so hard with an exception of Ty of course. Josh accepted me and all my baggage including a two foot baby boy whom he affectionately now calls son. 

Back then my priorities were simple; keep Ty safe and happy, loving Josh with my whole heart and trying desperately to make him happy hoping he'd love me as much as I did him and some how pay the bills...

Not quite a year after we met we had the surprise of getting pregnant with Paris. Josh was thrilled- I cried....hysterically....for weeks....Josh called in to work to celebrate, while I cried....hysterically....Paris came and I fell deeply in love once more...Priorities changed again; do what ever I have to do to keep Ty and Paris happy and healthy, love Josh with my whole heart and hope he grows up, go to school-need a better job so I can raise these kids alone if Josh doesn't grow up....

Josh grew up drastically when Paris hit 4 months... 

We decided to make it official and get married. No fancy wedding for us, just the good ol' court house and $75....

 I don't regret it....

Our good friends at the time met us at 3pm on a Tuesday as a last minute decision to just go ahead and say the vows. 

I cried during mine, so did Josh..

Dusty said  that our wedding was weird, it should have been totally cheesy considering what it was but it wasn't ...

We got married under fake flowers in jeans but we were in love...so not cheesy to really be in love...

I don't regret it...

We went to dinner with our buds and went home to the kids where Josh put a song on for me that he had been playing for the previous years as a hint to me by Dierks Bently called Last Name (still makes me cry) we danced in the living room and to me it was magical.

Not long after we married I went back to school and remained in school for about 5 years and during that time I tried to keep up everything! I cooked, cleaned, raised kids, took care of all the household stuff and managed to remain in love with my husband. During it all we had Gianna and kept going strong until I finally graduated and started working full time. Life finally seemed so easy! I only had to care for Josh, the kids, the house and work-easy peasy! I guess it was all to easy so we had the twins... 

Priorities to date; keep all the kids alive and healthy, love them, cherish them, keep up the house and all that includes (cooking, cleaning, bills), do my very best at work and try and find a way to buy a house while going back to school to get my masters in nursing....I feel like Ive forgotten something? Oh ya, right, my husband! 

The fact of the matter is I haven't made him a priority. Since the twins were born I have simply tried to survive! I pick what the kids needs are every time because deep down I want every last minute with them because they are growing like weeds! Ty needs talks on growing up, Paris needs talks on dealing with friends, Gigi needs talks on LISTENING AND NOT ARGUING WITH HER MOTHER and the twins need to nurse, be changed, held, rocked and played with... 

Josh needs me.... 

I have been so busy with everyone else I forgot,

I need Josh...

I often say I don't want to miss anything with the kids because in twenty years when they are all grown I don't want regrets and think "I wish I would have...(fill in the blank)" but the thing I haven't or should I say didn't realize until this last week is simple- I DO NOT want to be standing next to Josh in twenty years when our kids are grown and think I did an amazing job with them but have no idea who I am married to anymore. I want to grow old with him and the key word is GROW which means I have to include him on all that's going on so we stay close. 

Since the moment he told me out right I don't make him a priority I have tried to change my mind set...That's hard for me...I'm sooooo stubborn!  It will be a process but my priorities MUST change again to make sure the people who matter get what they need from me even if that means I don't do things that I want for myself, at least for the time being...School will have to wait.

Priorities: show Josh that I love him-need him daily (in a way he needs me to because doing his laundry and making him dinner doesn't count), teach my children how to live a happy married life by example, cherish every moment with my family, continue to create a home for them that they and I can be proud of, pay the bills as close to on time as possible and be ok with it- if it means being with the family more....

Ty, Paris, Gigi, Charlie & Penny- don't make the mistakes Ive made, learn from me and always double check that you are prioritizing with what matters most and the special people in your life should always win...

On  a lighter note we bought a new swing set for the kids that josh has been working on for the last two weeks...

 Six boxes- a lot of pieces!

Thank goodness Gigi was there to help!

Josh isn't typically handy but he did a great job with help from my dad and I am proud to say I never heard him curse during the construction! Well, he probably did but at least I didn't hear it...

The kids were wore out from waiting for it!

 I think they had just as much fun playing in the boxes with the dogs

 Barbie and Molly stick to Gianna like she's a walking steak...

Tonight was back to school night!

 5th and 2nd grade

 Paris was thrilled to show us her work

 Charlie was beside her self with excitement 

 Oh my, how Penny couldn't contain her interest! lol

 Ty's first big research project

BOOK FAIR TIME!

Gigi insisted on holding her own bag of new treasured books!

Paris held the bag that contained books for her and Ty, she has been taking care of him since his new found disability... ;-)

LOVE

I love that they were so excited to get home to read

Straight to the play set to read together!

Ty showing off the features

Paris reading to Gi...love

Josh's hard work made for some silly but happy kids

Three of my top priorities...