Raising Up Richards: I'm a Nurse, of course I can prioritize!

I am a Registered Nurse and work in a very busy emergency room. If you asked me the most important part of being a nurse I wouldn't say being amazing at skills like IV's or catheter insertions- what I would say is prioritizing. I have to be able to assess a patient and not only figure out how serious it is but also what exactly will need to be done and how much time I have to do it. I can quickly figure out the 50 year old woman with nausea and back pain needs an EKG long before the guy crying that his shoulder is dislocated and needs pain meds. I can generally weed out the drug seeking individual over the gallstones and know that you can never have enough venous access in a code blue... This I'm good at- NO this I'm great at and take pride in it- I love my job... So considering that prioritizing is literally in my job description you can understand my surprise when my husband tells me I don't make him a priority, WHAT?

This is Josh and I nearly ten years ago, not long after we met... Back then I was a newly single mom working in a medical office and Starbucks just trying to make ends meet. I was trying to keep things good for Ty who was barely over a year. I was 22 but felt 40....stress.....

Josh was pretty carefree.. He was also 22- working for the Sheriff Dept and living it up as any young care free guy should do, that is until he met me. It took no time at all before I was head over heels in love and absolutely thrilled! I didn't know you could love someone like that so fast and so hard with an exception of Ty of course. Josh accepted me and all my baggage including a two foot baby boy whom he affectionately now calls son.

Back then my priorities were simple; keep Ty safe and happy, loving Josh with my whole heart and trying desperately to make him happy hoping he'd love me as much as I did him and some how pay the bills...

Not quite a year after we met we had the surprise of getting pregnant with Paris. Josh was thrilled- I cried....hysterically....for weeks....Josh called in to work to celebrate, while I cried....hysterically....Paris came and I fell deeply in love once more...Priorities changed again; do what ever I have to do to keep Ty and Paris happy and healthy, love Josh with my whole heart and hope he grows up, go to school-need a better job so I can raise these kids alone if Josh doesn't grow up....

Josh grew up drastically when Paris hit 4 months...

We decided to make it official and get married. No fancy wedding for us, just the good ol' court house and $75....

I don't regret it....

Our good friends at the time met us at 3pm on a Tuesday as a last minute decision to just go ahead and say the vows.

I cried during mine, so did Josh..

Dusty said that our wedding was weird, it should have been totally cheesy considering what it was but it wasn't ...

We got married under fake flowers in jeans but we were in love...so not cheesy to really be in love...

I don't regret it...

We went to dinner with our buds and went home to the kids where Josh put a song on for me that he had been playing for the previous years as a hint to me by Dierks Bently called Last Name (still makes me cry) we danced in the living room and to me it was magical.

Not long after we married I went back to school and remained in school for about 5 years and during that time I tried to keep up everything! I cooked, cleaned, raised kids, took care of all the household stuff and managed to remain in love with my husband. During it all we had Gianna and kept going strong until I finally graduated and started working full time. Life finally seemed so easy! I only had to care for Josh, the kids, the house and work-easy peasy! I guess it was all to easy so we had the twins...

Priorities to date; keep all the kids alive and healthy, love them, cherish them, keep up the house and all that includes (cooking, cleaning, bills), do my very best at work and try and find a way to buy a house while going back to school to get my masters in nursing....I feel like Ive forgotten something? Oh ya, right, my husband!

The fact of the matter is I haven't made him a priority. Since the twins were born I have simply tried to survive! I pick what the kids needs are every time because deep down I want every last minute with them because they are growing like weeds! Ty needs talks on growing up, Paris needs talks on dealing with friends, Gigi needs talks on LISTENING AND NOT ARGUING WITH HER MOTHER and the twins need to nurse, be changed, held, rocked and played with...

Josh needs me....

I have been so busy with everyone else I forgot,

I need Josh...

I often say I don't want to miss anything with the kids because in twenty years when they are all grown I don't want regrets and think "I wish I would have...(fill in the blank)" but the thing I haven't or should I say didn't realize until this last week is simple- I DO NOT want to be standing next to Josh in twenty years when our kids are grown and think I did an amazing job with them but have no idea who I am married to anymore. I want to grow old with him and the key word is GROW which means I have to include him on all that's going on so we stay close.

Since the moment he told me out right I don't make him a priority I have tried to change my mind set...That's hard for me...I'm sooooo stubborn! It will be a process but my priorities MUST change again to make sure the people who matter get what they need from me even if that means I don't do things that I want for myself, at least for the time being...School will have to wait.

Priorities: show Josh that I love him-need him daily (in a way he needs me to because doing his laundry and making him dinner doesn't count), teach my children how to live a happy married life by example, cherish every moment with my family, continue to create a home for them that they and I can be proud of, pay the bills as close to on time as possible and be ok with it- if it means being with the family more....

Ty, Paris, Gigi, Charlie & Penny- don't make the mistakes Ive made, learn from me and always double check that you are prioritizing with what matters most and the special people in your life should always win...

On a lighter note we bought a new swing set for the kids that josh has been working on for the last two weeks...

Six boxes- a lot of pieces!

Thank goodness Gigi was there to help!

Josh isn't typically handy but he did a great job with help from my dad and I am proud to say I never heard him curse during the construction! Well, he probably did but at least I didn't hear it...