Well, it has literally been months since my last post and I am okay with that. We have all been so busy! There has been a surgery, a graduation, a kind of promotion, new retainers, lost teeth, potty training, new friends, old friends and of course the usual fighting, biting, hair pulling and screaming... I am pretty sure we buzzed by some holidays, birthdays and laughs too but I'll make it easy on all of us and just confirm we are all doing just fine and are having a great time in the whirlwind called life. Now, to the meat....
I always say if you want to learn something well, teach someone else and if you want to feel thin go to the Island water park on any given day. Now I can add to my wisdom and say if you want to feel like an awesome mom ask me about my kids and school!
August 2014- School begins and I am hopeful that we will have an amazing year with Ty starting junior high, Paris starting 4th and Gianna in kinder....
September 2014- Realization sets in... Ty hates his school, misses his old friends, his old neighborhood and wants to move back to that tiny house in Madera.... He gets bullied daily and I cry behind closed doors for not being able to fix it...
October 2014- I hear the voice overhead say, "All awesome moms step forward, not so fast Danneal!" Paris first conference of the year... I am informed she is basically flunking math and her teacher does have much advice to offer except get a tutor... $250 a month begins to be pulled from my account and two hours a day are dedicated to taking Paris back in forth to her tutor. How did I not know how bad it was? How could I be so naive to think she'd just get it.... Josh said it best when he sighs and says, "Well, we either pay to fix her now or pay for her forever when she is still living with us at 30!"... Thank goodness Gianna's conference was nothing but rave reviews, I redeem myself a bit...
Novemeber 2014- Paris gets an A on a math test... The only parenting I did to support that A was pay the tutor but it didn't stop me from crying hysterically in the car, like ugly cry in the car so thankful there wasn't something wrong with her brain; which is what I previously thought-------->Danneal, mother of the year---- assumes it's not her fault but rather a physical ailment of her child....
December 2014- Thankful it's the holiday season because I needed a break from the kids school! Ty is still having a rough time, hasn't really made friends and now has completely lost his love of band. He is still a fish out of water and I watch him loose interest in all that he loves. He just seems depressed and I can't fix him. Paris gets her report card and went from an F to a C in math and I was ecstatic... I ignored the fact that the rest of her grades went to B's because she put all her effort into math and when I say her, I mean ME! I didn't care about spelling or reading or the stupid computer program that was suppose to be done at home... I assumed it was more of a "suggestion" to do it verses an assignment... I was wrong again.... I ignored all that and basked in the glory of a C that we both worked pretty darn hard for. Gianna my little rock star student brought me a home a conference slip and I was happy to go; after all, she is the only one I'm not worried about at the moment... I sat down with Gigi's teacher and it went something like this:
Teacher, " Gigi is wonderfully happy and talkative and a real joy to teach."
Me, thinking, "I know she's awesome, I'm awesome, she will be my successful one."
Teacher, " okay well right now Gigi is reading at an A level"
Me, "Thats great!"
Teacher, "Ummmm no, the other kids are mostly at a D."
Me, " Oh wow thats really great" - at this point I am mom of the year because my kid is a genius!
Teacher, " Ummmmmm no, A is not good, D is good, A is not good it's the lower level, I'm worried about Gigi."
Me- don't cry don't cry don't cry then, "Oh, okay well what do we need to do?"
The conversation ends with the teacher feeling Gigi was a late bloomer and would certainly bloom any moment with some encouragement... Encouragement she was certainly not getting at home, she's the good one, the easy one and basically ignored. I don't even check her homework and if it's left to Josh her back pack would still have Augusts lunch menu in it... I cried all the way to the book store while telling Josh I was the worst mother ever and we have too many kids! I thought about which one I could get the most money for but then realized I might miss them so nixed that idea.
January 2015- All of my time is spent working, driving to tutors, reading the same box of books over and over again and doing extra workbooks with Gigi to help her reading along------- exhausting.....Ty still hates life.... Oh and I had a major surgery and was in a great deal of pain so I couldn't even enjoy the effects of the pain meds. Its all kind of a blur now but I had to learn to rely on other people for a lot of help and that was extremely hard for me! At least this month I could blame my kids problems on my current disability...
February 2015- Paris is chugging along in math and I still curse in my head the whole way to the tutor everyday. Ty continued to have problems and I was sick of it. I pulled out all my motherly wisdom and went for parent of the year with this statement, " If that kid messes with you again, you get in his face and PUNK HIM!!!! If he swings you hit back and don't loose! If you get suspended you will not be in trouble at home as long as you didn't start it but you damn better finish it!" Two days later Ty came home to tell me the kid started up again and he stood up to him and said words he could not repeat.... I hugged him, I was proud.... He's now friends with the kid.... As a side note, I did say I did not approve of the language and that was not acceptable but we both knew I didn't mean it... He did what he had to do to stand up for himself. Mother of the year nomination again.....
March 2015- I don't even know how Gianna is doing in school and I don't ask because I don't want to deal with it, I'm tired... She is reading at home and seems better everyday so I live in fantasy world that if I don't know better, it must be fine... Paris now has an A in math and a D in social studies on her progress report.... I can't win and I don't know of a social studies tutor so I decide you never use social studies in real life but she will have to balance a checkbook so I'm taking the A and ignoring the D. Ty has a birthday and friends... He likes band again and gets a guitar....His grades are great as normal and he seems happy... I hold my breath then cry with relief...
April 2015- Paris turns 10, I cry... I realize how much I cry and blame exhaustion... Then I blame wine, alcohol is a depressant so I give it up for 30 days....
May 2015- Life isn't worth living without wine so I take it back and take my chances with the crying... Ty is awesome.., He loves school, has friends, he got the "hot girls" number and is pretty much on cloud nine. Paris has A's and B's but I'm to tired to care so we get in the car and head to the tutor who she loves... Gianna talks non stop and I can't get a word in edgewise to find out how she's doing but I assume well and I like the way I feel with that so I go with it. She tells me she didn't get her homework folder, for three weeks.... I chose to believe her because I didn't want to do anymore homework, I passed kinder and I just don't want to...
June 2015- Gigi gets informed the day before the swim field trip she can't go because she didn't turn in three weeks of homework....... Ya, I didn't see that one coming.... Had I know that I would have just written some jibber jabber in her folder and passed it off but now I have a 6 year old hysterical because she can't go and everyone else is and it's pretty much my fault for not staying on top of it.. She's six, it was my job to keep her on track and I failed... Thankfully there were enough parents that threw a fit over their child not being able to go that they allowed all the kids to go, disaster averted...
Somehow they have all managed to complete their assigned grades and get out of school tomorrow! Thank goodness!!!In the midst of that the twins got a whole lot bigger and are nearly potty trained. Charlie is a rock star and has had no accidents in a week but knowing my luck I will find pee and poop piles somewhere in the house that she has been sneaking off to and hiding... Penny is doing well but is certainly more defiant. She will go to the potty 95% of the time but once a day or so she likes to take her panties off and pee in front of the toilet and look at me like, "Go ahead mom, clean that up." I am considering putting down puppy pads. I have high hopes by the end of this week she will stop that but I won't be shocked if she is still doing it in college.
I get asked constantly how I manage everything, how I do it all... The fact is I don't. I slip up and make mistakes and skate by. I figure I have enough kids I really only need one to be really successful to support me when I'm old and the rest are gravy (my money is on Gi). The truth of the matter is there are some really great moms out there who make mistakes and over look things just like I do and just like I do they beat themselves up over it. WE HAVE TO STOP BEATING OURSELVES UP!!! Our kids are going to be fine because we show up when it matters. We hug them when their down, we support their needs even when it just plain sucks and we spend half our paycheck in materials to reinforce what their learning at school... Hell, we even clean up pee off the floor then kiss their forehead. So what are a few missing homework assignments, prioritizing grades or a few choice words really gonna do? Nothing!! They will survive too and maybe just maybe they will be better for it and take life with a grain of salt and a bottle of wine, like their mama.
Much love!
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