and I finally cried

Oh what whirlwind it has been! The last couple weeks have been incredibly hectic with so many new and exciting changes. We moved in to our new house last Saturday. I really should take some pictures but haven't had a bit of time but I hope to soon. The house turned out absolutely beautiful, even better than I remembered or even pictured. The backyard is a nice size for a suburban neighborhood and now that the grass is in, it's starting to look like a family spot. The kids are thrilled with their new rooms although they are all a hot mess at this point. I have unpacked the majority of the boxes but haven't gotten into all the organizing and whatnot. The twins are taking even longer naps now that they have their own space. I jokingly told my mom that we were all excited for this big roomy house and the twins were just happy to have a door! I think this is more true than I thought. I have lots of empty spaces and tons of ideas that I will get to with a little time and money but nothing is emergent and I am just loving every minute. I was excited to go buy yummy smelly soaps for all the bathrooms and thrilled to buy a laundry room organizer. I was ecstatic to see Josh organizing his closet and even happier to know I don't have to share mine! This really is a great time in the Richards family.
 Now Josh and I have worked very hard the last four years to be in a place to be financially able to provide this home for our kids. For a long time, especially after we left Kerman I thought we would never own a home again. I was sad and depressed thinking we would never climb out of the mountain of debt we once had and then four years passed. We reached each goal we set and now it was time to reap the benefits of our hard work. The entire time we were building this house Josh was ecstatic. He was constantly harassing me about yard plans, furniture and decor. I just couldn't get excited. In the back of my mind I was waiting for the loan officer to call and be like, "Just kidding, you can't afford this!" Up until the day we got the keys I was prepared for the worse case scenario. When we got down to a few days before we closed escrow I told Josh to prepare for me to cry. I know me and for the most part I am an emotional girl. I expected to get the keys in hand and the tears to flow. Tears of joy and relief and pure happiness... I knew I'd cry... I just knew it and then we got the keys.....nothing....not a tear, emotion, smile, nothing,...

Maybe it didn't feel real, maybe there was too much hype but I didn't cry and I was disappointed. I was prepared for emotion and I did not get a drop of it. Then as we drove away and pulled up to our new home, I thought, "Oooohhhh, when I walk in and see it all is ours, I'll totally cry!" I was excited...

Then we walked in...Josh and I... Josh opened the door and opened it wide and we walked in together...and the tears...stayed in my eyeballs! Nothing! Sure I was happy, who wouldn't be but no real emotion noted.

On the drive home to get the kids and take them to the new house I realized what was missing, my babies!!! I knew right then the second they all ran in and their laughter and excitement filled the air I would realize what it was all for and I was going to cry hysterically, like a baby. Yep I would cry like the ugly cry, I was ready! We got the kids loaded and drove over, they were all so very excited then I opened the door and they were fighting. I don't remember why but the big kids were all bickering and the babies were crying and that was that. I realized I was wrong and this wasn't an emotional moment...I was oddly disappointed but it is what it is. I told a couple of special friends about my crying dilemma and thankfully both of them understood my madness. Even though they both laughed at me a bit I think they knew where I was coming from. They both assured me that at some point it would all sink in and I would indeed cry...I didn't believe them, my moment was gone... We spent the following week preparing the new house but still in the old one while the kids finished up their school year. We had end of year parties and awards ceremonies mixed in with a million appointments getting things ready to move.

Gianna is now officially a Kindergartner!

Paris finished the year strong and is now a fourth grader!

Paris's teacher who is just awesome had a little private award ceremony in class. She gave each child an award (candy) that made her think of them. I loved the idea, obviously she is a Pinterest addict too! Paris received Extra gum. Paris was said to be an amazing writer that could write about anything at all. Her teacher said Paris was a "EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT"- I thought it was adorable.

Ty of course did amazing. He didn't get straight A's the full year this year and was completely disappointed in himself but then was given an award we hadn't heard of before. He received some special award put on by the Rotary Club for student excellence which means his teach must have nominated him. He won for the Sixth grade... I just couldn't be prouder of my now 7th grader! Middle school here he comes!

My nephew Talyn received awards too. He is such a smart kid and has overcome so much. He was so excited that his mama, papa, and auntie with twin cousins could make his award ceremony. He was bragging to all his friends!

We finished up the school year strong and then officially moved. We spent the night in our new house Saturday without too much drama. We had tons of help from my mom, dad, uncle and close family friends. Even put my little grandma to work ironing bed skirts. In the weeks previously we had several other special friends and family members help us out by hauling stuff, watching babies and just overall support and well wishes and we can't thank them enough! So there it was... we were in the house but it was still just a house. It doesn't feel like ours, it doesn't feel like home...

The yard is starting to look more complete even though we don't have a single plant or tree yet but I'm sure we will soon. There was something calming about seeing Josh put the play set up, maybe it makes this all more real...

Monday I started a new job that is the exact opposite of the emergency department. I spent the week in training and have been to busy to make this place feel like home; although, we have had several cooked meals and boxes are still slowly disappearing and then Charlie got sick. Poor baby had a stomach bug so when I came home Thursday she was just a grump. She ended up filling her diaper to the leaking point, all over Ty! I gave her a long bath and the big kids kept Penny busy for me so I could pay some extra attention to Charlie. I got her ready for bed and gave her a dose of Tylenol as she seemed so miserable and we headed downstairs together. I pulled her up in our new rocking recliner that Josh just had to have ( I secretly love them but will not admit it to him). So Charlie was all snuggled in a blanket and I just rocked her. I rocked her for at least 45 minutes and sang her little songs as she stared at me. She stared at me the same way she did as an infant. It's a look of amazement and wonder, just priceless. As I rocked her, brushing away the hair from her eyes I sang the same song I have sung to each of my tiny babies, "You are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happppppyyyy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my Charlie away...." and the tears fell....and fell and fell... I finally cried. All in an instant everything I worked so hard for flashed before my eyes, well Charlie's eyes. I started crying and couldn't stop, I was overwhelmed with happiness, contentedness and love. This was no longer a house, this was OUR home... I kept singing to Charlie as I rocked her but she couldn't figure out the tears so she sat up on my lap and touched them, gave me a kiss and hug then climbed down and ran off to her sister. The Tylenol obviously kicked in and she was back to playing but me, I just felt at peace...

The week continued on and Charlie's stomach bug made a new high on Friday when she randomly puked all over the floor at a home decor store. Once again Ty was holding her and he got the raw end of that deal. Of course she was perfect by Saturday and then Penny started. That seems to be the trend in this house, we all pass it around.

I still tried to get some photos together for a fathers day present for Josh but it didn't take long to realize it just wasn't going to happen! Five kids all to smile and face the same direction, sounds like a problem for NASA!

Gigi girl

I wish I knew how to head swap and edit pictures!

Well, we will continue to adjust and work on making our new home just as we'd like it. I will continue to adjust to my new job that allows me to be home most weekends and every evening. We will all continue to adjust to this new life but most importantly we will continue to make time to appreciate all we have, all we worked for and all those who love us enough to share in our joy.

Much love friends, much love