This picture was taken last month when me and my biggest kids hit the Broadway hit WICKED! What a wonderful day we had! I love spending time with these two. They are so grown up and fun...I needed to look at this picture after the day we have had.
My children rarely "disappoint" me. Yes, I get angry, yes I snap and yell. I sometimes say things I shouldn't and even say words I wish I hadn't but I can't even remember a time I've told the kids they had disappointed me, until today... Ty, whom is now 12 is amazing. I say it all the time. He gets in to trouble for dishes in his room or not picking up dog poop but he is praised all the time for bringing me coffee for no reason, waking up with the babies on a Saturday morning because Josh and I had worked the night before. He is really a great kid. So great that last year with his own saved money, we allowed him to buy an iPhone, while we covered the service agreement. We have very strict rules with this phone, for instance, if we say, "phone" he immediately hands it over for us to check emails, text messages and recent call history. We have it connected to our iCloud so that we can see any and every conversation if we choose too. He is not allowed to have Facebook or Twitter and his game selection still has to be approved by us. He has never gone over his data allowance and has not lost or broke it. He's all in all a pretty responsible kid. Today however, whew! I checked my online banking to find multiple charges to iTunes.. Not like one or two but like 20 over the last three weeks adding up to $345! I instantly thought in was Paris. I thought by accident she bought things on the iPod but I decided to call Ty just to make sure it wasn't him accidentally doing it. I will allow Ty to have some money on iTunes when he does extra work without being asked and what not, but he surely hadn't done $345 worth! "Ty, did you buy things on iTunes without my permission?" silence... A small voice simply says, "yes"..... I could not believe it. How could my boy be so irresponsible? Have I done that poor of a job teaching him the value of money?! I said all I could say in the calmest voice I've probably ever spoke in, "Would you like to know how much you have spent?" Ty said, "How much?" When I told him there was a deafening silence. "Ty, turn your phone off, take it to my room. It is gone and we will talk about this when I get home."
I was absolutely fuming!! I was so flustered it took me thirty minutes of my class to stop shaking. Josh was equally upset of course. He said when he got home Ty was already crying. By the time I got home I was in a no nonsense kind of mood. I told him that he would have his phone for calling me only. (he walks the girls to and from the bus stop and calls me when they get to school each day or if the bus is running late so that I don't worry) All apps were deleted as well as every restriction that could be made. I explained to him that we would be keeping a tally of his "bill" and he would work off every penny doing chores, babysitting and helping anyone and everyone who needed it. He agreed without any hesitation. I asked him if that sounded fair to him and he said, "Yes I deserve worse... "I said this was a moment to take in as a life lesson. Obviously he does not realize how hard we work for our money but by the end of this he will... He agreed and went to his room. I could here him immediately crying in the room and it just broke my heart but I couldn't let that change anything. I stayed strong, walked in his room and made him stand and look me in the eye. I asked if he was upset over the phone and he said, "No, you're disappointed in me, you won't love me again" and was crying so hard he started to have what appeared to be, a panic attack. I felt my heart sink deep in my gut and I just wanted to hold him and say it was all ok but I didn't sway. I held that in and I said, "Look me in the eye, no matter what you ever do wrong in this life I will always love you with all my heart. There is nothing you could do to make me not love you. You are my world. I am doing this to teach you a lesson you will need in this world." We hugged tightly and he calmed down... Why is it he did wrong but I feel like crap?! I hope that means I did the right thing because the right thing is usually the hardest thing to deal with. I know people will read this and think I wasn't strict enough while others will read and think I was too strict and only God knows what Gwenyth Paltrow will say, she seems to know everything these days! Either way, I did what I felt I needed to do, I honestly had no idea what to do, still don't. I do know my son and I know how horrible he feels knowing how disappointed I am in him. It hurt to tell him I was but it had to be said... Now that it's said it's his job to earn my trust back. It is not my job to be his friend, it is my job to give him guidelines so that he can soar. He has to learn, I have to learn...Maybe I failed... Maybe I gave him too much too early or maybe I have been so busy I am slipping as a mom... Today I failed...The joys of motherhood...I don't remember reading this part in the manual. When my kid fails, I failed and now I have to make it right... Maybe I will be doing some extra chores too...
On a happier note Josh and I just got back from a little mini vacation in Vegas. I tried to surprise him for his birthday. I planned for months! I had it worked out with his work, babysitter lined up, cover story to get to the airport and even had my sister ready to meet us at the airport to pick up his gun as I knew he wouldn't leave at home. I thought I was a rock star, that is until I realized he knew! None-the less, he played along for quite a while but I finally got it out of him that he did know.
We hopped on this little plane and were off! This was the first trip away from the twins and honestly the first trip since Cozumel which was the month before we got pregnant with the twins! That's way too long and we needed some "couple" time. I made it a point to not talk about the kids which was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be. The kids consume me most of the time which always is a sore spot for Josh but I really tried to make this about us. Sure we saw little things that the kids would like that we'd point out but for the most part we talked about us. We laughed and told stories of the past. We made plans but then broke them. We decided to be completely unscheduled and put on our walking shoes! We walked up and down the strip, eating and drinking all day. We found an wonderful Dueling Piano bar that we had loved years ago and just hung out. We made friends with the coolest couple from Australia and we all sang along and danced to every song. It was a wonderful, wonderful trip. We slept in and held hands and kissed for no reason. We didn't have girls talking our ears off or babies climbing up our legs ~sigh~ I fell in love all over again. As much as I love my children, I love their daddy even more for giving them to me. This was a trip we needed as a husband and wife that makes us a better mom and dad.
Day One- sober
Best burger ever!
I had to take this for Ty, Poseidon is his hero
Carlos bakery was every bit as good as it looks on TV
Day 3- hung over, well at least Josh was
Ty's souvenir. Pretty fitting for him
I can't believe I am posting this picture because I look horrible but I love that it shows how I really look on a daily basis. I look tired and old but happy, very, very happy! This was taken on Mother's Day. I had to work but Josh surprised me with breakfast in bed that I quickly took to the table because as you can see, these babies won't let me eat alone. Despite the fact Josh had already fed them, they still climbed up and grabbed my bacon and handfuls of eggs and pancake like they hadn't been fed in a week! I was pretty sad I couldn't be with my babies especially Paris. Paris was in the NICU for weeks but she came home on Mother's Day 9 years ago so it has an even deeper meaning to me. Thankfully Josh brought the kids to the hospital that evening so I could have dinner with them. Nothing like celebrating Mother's Day in the emergency department break room but it made my day.
Here are some pictures from the last week or two.
We have a pretty exciting month ahead of us as our house will be finished in a couple weeks. I look forward to having my next blog featuring a picture of our family in our new home. I can't wait to be in a house that fits us and have the conveniences of living in a larger city. I think there are great things around the corner for our family which is hard to imagine but I can just feel it.
Love...
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